Amy Cho : The Blog - Thoughts

Thank you.

nospam@example.com (Amy Cho) — Fri, 09 Mar 2007 21:18:18 -0500

I've realized that there are a lot of people out there who have helped me regardless of the fact that I don't deserve it. I just wanted to give thanks to those people who don't give up hope in me and are constantly raising me up and expecting more of me than I do anymore and never forget me even when they are trucking on with their own lives: Alvin Cho (my brother who always keeps trying with me and words cannot possibly describe how much he has done for me all my life), Duy Vo (for his humor and support and resume forwarding), Marty Froomin (the awesome Unix teacher who helps me with so much and who referred me to the student tech position), Yue Wang (my boss who is awesome to work with). They are all very wonderful people who are not just smart and knowledgeable but funny and good-natured. Thank you so much for being my pillars.

Ah, but what is a thank you speech like this without a mentioning of the parents? I thank my father for not disowning me when I have disappointed everyone but only keeps reminding me what my responsibilities are. (haha Is that something to be thankful for?) I thank my mother very much for her constant fussing, the kind of fussing that is motivated by emotions of concern and love, the selfless fussing that always checks to make sure I'm fed, safe, clean, and happy.

I am truly an ingrate, not for acknowledging your kindness, but for not returning it in full and in the way that would make all of you proud. I hope I can return your kindness and even pay it forward to someone else who deserves the same kindness.

Synchronized Thought

nospam@example.com (Amy Cho) — Sat, 21 Oct 2006 01:20:59 -0400

What would happen if EVERYONE suddenly thought the exact same thing with the exact same expression and the exact same feeling at the exact same time? What if we synchronized for a fraction of a second? Would that be sub-nirvana? One with the world (not one with the universe as nirvana defines)? Would God, any god, say, "Hey everyone, you got it right. It's about time" and we would all ascend to Heaven where everyone continues to think in sync (or perhaps out of sync)? But I suppose that depends on the thought...Now what would that heavenly thought be...

A Short Piece on Volatile Situations

nospam@example.com (Amy Cho) — Sat, 21 Oct 2006 01:01:17 -0400

Today, my friend told me when she went to university in China, she had a one month training with a firearm. It has been mandatory for university students ever since the Tiananmen Square Massacre (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tiananmen_Square_protests_of_1989). How crazy is that.

It makes you think about the situations of people in foreign countries. Why would they need training? It's because violence can occur at any moment. Think about what South Koreans must be going through right now. North Korea says, "Oh we aren't testing nukes ANYMORE. And besides we have a RIGHT since we are a sovereign country." There's something obviously wrong with that statement. It's no wonder that the young men in South Korea have mandatory military training for a year or two. I saw a clip of the North Korean military men marching while watching the Chinese news today and it reminded me of the Nazis...just the way they marched with vigor and fervor...it's scary to think this is what they're constantly thinking about. This is what keeps them going. It is not the thought of peace and harmony (or perhaps they think it is because they think of uniting everything under one iron hand).

And think about Iraq, Israel, Palestine, and Africa. Constantly at war. It's extremely sad that they must go through all that but all sides believe they are doing the right thing. They are fighting for their rights or for power. I suppose that is their prerogative but why must so many people be hurt in the process? And this is not a simple hurt. The accepted and acknowledged slaughtering of people... War is a crime against humanity. All of those deceased people....Not just as a tragedy, but I also see it as an enormous waste of potential. How many could have continued to grow up and do something important? How many could have brought peace or invented something? How many could have made many more happy?

We have it soft and comfortable. We don't need military or firearm training. Many of us don't even think of joining the army because we have a cushy life and so many other options. And I think most of the U.S. recruits are mostly joining because of money reasons and no other options. I hear many people in the midwest plains of the U.S. typically go to the army because they don't have many job options besides being a farmer or trucker. Of course, there are those who belong to a line of military men or they just have great pride in our country. They need no monetary reward nor is the army a last resort to them but I digress.

Some people don't bother to think about war. They can't even spare a feeling even though feeling sympathy doesn't cost a person anything. But perhaps they are indifferent because if they did feel something like sympathy, they would take action or take some time out of their day to do something and that would cost something. So why bother? If they don't feel for those innocents, they don't get involved. What a sad notion. It's about our conveniences, our luxuries. But perhaps if we all strived to have world peace. Maybe that would make us even happier, something that goes beyond money and materials.

All I ask for anybody who reads this is to give a moment of thought everyday to those who lost their lives unnecessarily and those innocents who must survive during the hard times. And if you can, do something to help. Protests, donations and charity, awareness, sympathy, time, understanding, or hope for a better world and to pass that hope onto your legacy, your posterity. Because there's something bigger than you and me and our individual perspectives; the whole harmony and peace of humankind and the world is a goal greater than any other.

Of course, saying all of this doesn't make me a saint nor does it make me any better than everyone, far from it. It's just a reminder for me and for those who get caught up in the lives that we live and we forget about the lives of others.

=(

nospam@example.com (Amy Cho) — Wed, 16 Aug 2006 18:04:29 -0400

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My virtues versus my vices

nospam@example.com (Amy Cho) — Tue, 01 Aug 2006 02:24:43 -0400

I've realized (I did realize this before but it has profoundly hit me now) through the indirect help of Jas' talk about possible graduate school that I have been living all for myself, for my vices, and not for my virtues before simply because I figured life was too short so I did what I want. But all that was just an excuse, and I did make excuses for myself and indulged in the vices, in the things I know I should not. I also indulged in the bare minimum.

For the last four years, it has been only about my selfish needs. But the most glorious and wonderful times (I say they are wonderful although they feel restricted but are really wonderful in the bigger moral picture) were the six years before my slump back into my vices. Those six years were a period of virtue for me. I would give more than the bare minimum. I would do things although they were not immediately pleasurable for me as long as they were virtuous and meant something to somebody else. I did things solely on the thought of what others wanted. Of course, I was at times immediately pleased but felt confined, but I see that overall in the big picture that is the best course. Because in my vice period now, I feel like things are falling apart and nothing comes together well like a good Charles Dickens book. When I was "virtuous" everything fit together and felt right. I would get no complaints, but now I must be wary of scoldings everywhere and false hopes because I want to do what I want to do. Although my vices do not put me in physical harm (I obviously don't do drugs, drink), but I indulge in sloth and glutton and other selfish things. I can definitely say it has hurt me.

So with this epiphany, I stay firm in my decision to start doing things that are "right." And I know they are "right" because they are not stupidly and immediately pleasurable for me. I shall go to that dreaded night class now with a sense of duty and determination to do well and to impress the people I have long disappointed now for four years.

Exercise

nospam@example.com (Amy Cho) — Mon, 31 Jul 2006 00:29:54 -0400

I would like to go outside to exercise more. I feel so much better after despite the initial body soreness.

The difference between scientists and artists

nospam@example.com (Amy Cho) — Sun, 23 Jul 2006 04:30:33 -0400

On the subject of heart palpitations:

Scientist: "Blood flows throughout the body in a cycle. When blood leaves the right side of the heart, it travels to the lungs. Here it picks up oxygen, then goes to the left side of the heart and then out to the body. The atriua are the top of the heart chambers and ventricles are the bottom chambers in the heart. The chambers are connected but there are valves between each which open and close with the flow of the blood. The heart uses electrical impulses. Damage to the heart can interfere with the electrical controls of the heart." --Credit to http://ia.essortment.com/whatheartpalpi_rguf.htm

Artist: His heart palpitated at the sudden moment he saw her entering the door.

Scientists explain how the heart beats but artists explain why the heart beats.

A Comment on the Weather

nospam@example.com (Amy Cho) — Sat, 22 Jul 2006 20:47:01 -0400

It's 100 degrees Fahrenheit. It's hot like a mofo.

Ketsumeishi - "Ketsu no Police 4"

nospam@example.com (Amy Cho) — Fri, 21 Jul 2006 22:08:53 -0400

Listen to it.

Uninformed

nospam@example.com (Amy Cho) — Tue, 18 Jul 2006 16:57:22 -0400

Lately, I feel that I have become increasingly stupid. And perhaps this is true since I have ceased to read non-fiction and technology news while my intake of fiction has linearly increased. This may be one of the causes for my feeling retarded and inept. Or perhaps it is not me that has become dumber but that situations and thoughts have becoming increasingly difficult and I cannot handle such thoughts and situations with the intellectual level that I had before, and that I am not able to increase my intellectual level.

If the case be that this feeling stupidity is attributed to being uninformed, which I feel is the most likely case, then I can simply read more technology news (www.slashdot.org). I suggest others to read some technology news even if others don't like it much.

If life could be a video game, I would go in search of a items that increase my intelligence. INTELLIGENCE +1

Unfortunately, life does not work like a video game, and so I must either place myself in an environment that is appropriate for my level or better myself instead. But whatever the case may be, I wish to do my best.

The misusage of 'literally'

nospam@example.com (Amy Cho) — Fri, 14 Jul 2006 15:45:06 -0400

I am sure many people have furiously commented on the misusage of 'literally' in their own blogs and heated conversations because the word IS frequently misused. I too am slightly annoyed by this appalling manner because it shows that people like to throw in 'BIG' words into their daily vocabulary in order to sound less like an idiot. However, misusing 'literally' makes one look even more stupid, and it's just plain egregious in my book.

Now I can tolerate the following form of misuse:

subject + 'literally' + phrase of exaggeration

Sentences like 'I literally waited for ages' does not sit well in stomach but I let it pass. Because that form is the most commonly misused.

The most offensive form of misuse:

subject + 'literally' + figurative expression(figure of speech/metaphor/cliche phrase) = JUST PLAIN WRONG

Sentences like 'It was literally the last straw that broke the camel's back'. I literally heard that sentence used in a reality court show about some wore down convertible top, and there were literally and absolutely no camels involved in the case!

But to prove the second equation aforementioned, I present the following proof:
The definition of 'literally':
1) In a literal manner; word for word
2) In a literal or strict sense

This definition is, however, unclear since one must understand what 'literal' means, so I present the definition for 'literal':
1) being or reflecting the essential or genuine character of something
2) without interpretation or embellishment

The definition of a figurative expression:
1) a phrase expressing a figure of speech, a nonliteral representation of another state

And it is known plainly from the definition that the figurative expression should not truly be understood literally to understand its figurative meaning. To literally understand the figurative expression would be to understand something else entirely from the figurative meaning. It is perfectly normal to use the figurative expression as a stand-alone element if it is the figurative meaning that is intended. However, if the word 'literally' is placed next to the figurative expression, the literal meaning is then invoked, not the figurative meaning of the figurative expression which defeats the purpose of the figurative expression! The 'literally' element has a literal sense while the figurative expression element has a nonliteral sense. To place the two elements adjacently would essentially be placing two opposing logics together.

Therefore, the uses of 'literally' and a figurative expression are two evils in one sentence. Do not do it, because I just wasted ten minutes explaining to you why you should not.

Just don't that beat all?

nospam@example.com (Amy Cho) — Thu, 13 Jul 2006 09:34:41 -0400

The world seems to be crumblin' and there ain't a thing I can do about it. Just don't that beat all?

Yet the world is constantly collecting itself constantly and continually. Just don't that beat all?

And all I gots me is my fine whistle and a bump to the noggin' to help. Just don't that beat all?

Voiceless Screaming by X-Japan

nospam@example.com (Amy Cho) — Mon, 03 Jul 2006 20:13:52 -0400

I'm drowning in sadness
Falling far behind
I feel there is just no way out
Is there anyone there? Where am I?

Insanity and loneliness
Tear my painful heart
Broken heart keeps on going to beat
But it never stops bleeding

I've been waiting for love to come
Someone who wants to touch me inside
Memories of my yesterdays

Careless words and deeds
Masquerade of love
Gotta find my way outta here

I was blinded by dark desire
Over time I've been through it all
I'm crying my share of tears

What can I do
Will I make it through
I must be true to myself

Voiceless Screaming
Calling to me inside of my heart
Voiceless Screaming
Now is the time I got to speak out

Voice of faith, I'm starting to realize
Now my eyes can see
I have gone so far
I'm feeling breath of life

And I'm looking for love to reach
Someone I want to touch deep inside
Light shines on my sight of doubt
Don't be afraid
Move forward one step
Willing mind is what I have found at last

Voiceless Screaming
Calling to me inside of my heart
Voiceless Screaming
Now is the time I got to speak out

Voiceless Screaming
Calling to me inside of my heart
Knockin' on my soul's door
I believe in myself and trust what I do

Voiceless Screaming
Pain of the past still hurts me inside
Knockin' on my soul's door
I climb the stairs that lead me to Heaven

Nothing

nospam@example.com (Amy Cho) — Sat, 29 Oct 2005 01:52:34 -0400

I have nothing left to say for now. I feel very blank.

Standards

nospam@example.com (Amy Cho) — Mon, 24 Oct 2005 20:32:20 -0400

What happened to my goals, self-expectations, and standards? I'm giving into all of the things I use to look down upon. Must not indulge myself.